Jesus, take the wheel. As a matter of fact, take the whole ride

                                Jesus, take the wheel. As a matter of fact, take the whole ride


It’s 7:25 am. My youngest son has to be at school by 7:35 am. We are still at home, getting shoes on, and backpacks ready. Despite my tone, no movement. My two boys are on the couch oblivious to my requests, which quickly turn into demands.


        By this time, it’s a guarantee I’m feeling tense; jaw clenched, sweating, agitated and stressed. It’s the neverending race against time. “If only I had more time”. It’s too much. On days where I can barely keep my eyes open, I still need to come home, put sheets to dry because of a bedtime accident the night before. 

There’s always something that takes up our time. We do so much throughout the day, we are dead tired by the time our heads hit the pillow, and before you know it, the morning alarm goes off. 

There have been times I’m so overwhelmed, I find myself getting angry at God. It’s shameful to write, but sometimes, I’ve even cursed and cried out to God, blaming Him for not giving me more time. 

“Why can’t I find a higher paying job that lets me work from home and gives me more freedom?” “Why are you allowing this to happen, when I’ve kept praying for a career breakthrough?” These are a couple of many questions I shout out to God. Why should I suffer when I’m doing my duties as a Christian? 

I try to understand the reasoning of why things can't be smoother? More time, a better job, my own home. My stubbornness and adhering to my own will only make it that much worse. My timeline is exactly that. I want it all. I want, I want, I want. If I don’t get what I want, I get upset at God. I’m the child who wants so much for Christmas and pouts and throws a fit when they don’t get what I want. 

It’s my own selfishness, my own desires that I chase. I have to stay in control and solve every little problem. I make up problems in my head just so that I can self-sabotage and give in to the self-fulfilling prophecy that I don’t deserve what could be God sent. I question every single event and put it under the microscope. I think of worse case scenarios. 

     How can we do life when God is silent? How do we remain faithful and steadfast when all our questions bring no clarity? How do we know we're making decisions within His will? Perhaps our thoughts and fears are shouting in our heads and hearts, and we silence God's gentle voice that brings your body and soul peace.

        Being a Christian means going to God for every area in our lives. It means standing firm in His word that He will fulfill His purpose for you. It means using our lives as an example of living and loving like Christ, even when our lives bring forth challenges that leave us feeling defeated. His word tells us to be "good soldiers of Jesus Christ" (II Timothy 2:3)

            Even during the silent seasons, God is speaking to us the loudest. It's obeying when we don't see Him moving in our lives. It's knowing that He is still sovereign in our lives. It's about trusting that the silence means a planting season. It's during these difficult times that we need to put on our armor, our shield. I picture people putting on jackets with Scripture on it. That literally is our armor!

         I leave you with Scripture to remember that even in seasons of silence, you are shielded, you are guided, and you are forever loved. 

            "But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear" (II Timothy 4:17)

            "I know rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church" (Colossians 1: 24)

              "And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses" (Colossians 2:13)

               And lastly (my favorite). "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things" (Philippians 4:8). 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Perserverance

Topic: Perseverance  I’m sure a lot of us can relate to a season of stillness and complacency.  You’re stuck in a season of stillness that has gone on a lot longer than you hoped for.  We question how much longer we have to suffer until our prayers of breakthrough shine brightly.  The struggles, the no call backs, the rejections, the silence.  It’s challenging to stay faithful in a season that all you want to do is hide in a corner and pout.  Your feelings become stronger than your faith. There is so much unknown that you begin to feel uneasy, fearful, anxious, and maybe even hopeless?  It’s the unknown, the questions, the fear of making a decision that’s outside of God’s will. The tightening in your stomach when you feel everything around you seems to be coming down. It could be work, relationships, health.  We are all going through storms. It’s during these storms that we are called to persevere and produce endurance.    We look to Sc...
Read more

Transformed and Renewed

My hope for this first blog is to help others who find themselves in a similar situation.  Topic today: Renewed faith topped with grief.  This past year has been a season of testing. Back in November 2020, I went through a deep depression. I was hesitant to include mental health in my blog, but reminded the hesitation comes from the stigma society has engraved in our perceptions of how we are "supposed" to cope with challenges.  Back in November, I felt anxious and worried. I had been a remote teacher, and the distance from school and colleagues caused me to feel isolated. This caused so much distress at home. I doubted myself. My confidence was at its lowest.  There were several times I sobbed uncontrollably. The feeling of being stuck can really get into your core. Almost every sitting area in our home was tainted with my tears. Tear drops would dry on the floor and look like spilt water. I cried so much on the floor of my closet one night, I wasn't sure how I was ...
Read more